A collection of jokes to laugh so much with a lot of laughing out loud on different topics. Lots of laughter to ease the tension of everyday life.
Jokes to laugh loudly
After 130 km / hour my car dances. What can I do?". "Turn off the radio!".
2. "But dear, how you drive; it was red! ". "No, he was blond!".
3. "Excuse me on the 15th of here?" "No, on the 15th I'm in Milan!".
5. Full of the motorist? Fill up with a blank check.
6. How do 100 aliens enter a Cinquecento? Two in front, two behind and 96 in the ashtray!
7. What are the names of those who obtain a driver's license from privatists? Self-taught.
8. Difference between a Panda and a Mercedes with tipper plates? The former costs 10 million turnkey; the second 100 million, but car keys.
10.Two policemen stop a car: "Fine! You are 6 on a Renault 5 "" And you are 2 on a One! "
11. He was so fat that the ambulance had to make 2 trips to take him to the hospital.
12. The Formula 1 driver was fine, he felt in ... formula.
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13. The car salesman sells cars; the insurance representative sells insurance policies. So what does the people's representative sell?
14. In a little busy Bergamo road there are traces of blood on the asphalt. How do you know if a dog or terrone has been run over?
If there are signs of braking, it was a dog!
15.Italy is the country of smart people. Yesterday I was in Rome, I got on a bus and I stamped the ticket: tlic tlac. The driver turned around and said: "Fuck and am I noise?".
16. My car, right now, is worth 100,000 lire ... just because I filled up ...
18. Why are FIAT workers fired to go to FORD? Because at Fiat there is RITMO, while at Ford there is FIESTA!
19.Why do Japanese people use Opel? Either by going to evil or by going to the mountains.
25.If you see a huge object coming on the highway that should be in the other lane, it is the usual left-handed TIR.
26. If everyone comes to meet you ... you are in the wrong lane!
27.Usually super traffic jam on the ring road of Rome, One driver to another in the nearby car: "Of course we pay dearly for the highway, but in
we take advantage of it for a long time! ".
31. A Roman car parker: "Come, learned, be quiet. Behind there is desert! ". A terrible thud is heard. "Ah learned", he really took the palm! ".
32. A stutterer telephones the 12. “Pr Pr pr proooonto. Qua Qua Qua Qua here how much co co co co co te te you te tele tele tele tele phone calls phone calls A A A A Ame Ame Ame Ame America?!?! " - "I really think you should take the plane ..."
1. "Doctor, in recent months I have gained 70 kg". "Don't worry, open your mouth and say, 'muuuuuh'".
2. "My wife has been on a diet for a month!". "And she's lost weight?" "No, he hasn't reached her yet!"
3. Speaking of diets, a friend of mine lost more than 60 kg last week: his wife left him.
4. What does a fat woman do on the beach? A roundabout on the sea!
5.The Genoese are blocked by a snowstorm in a hut. After days, help arrives and there is a knock on the door. Who is it'? The Red Cross! Thanks, we've already given!
6. According to modern astronomers, space is over. It is a comforting thought, especially for those who never remember where he left his glasses.
7. At an asterisks party, an exclamation mark enters. Everyone stops silent and the landlord shouts: -What are you doing here? Can't you see it's a party for asterisks? -But don't you recognize them? It's me, Pino, I put on the gel!
8. Girl stove runs away from home: freezing dead parents.
9. Full for a lawyer N.1: to sit and read ... Right.
10. Full for a lawyer # 2: accuse fatigue after a long trial.
11. What is the name of the most famous Italian judge? Massimo Della Pena.
12. From the gunsmith: "I would like a 44 caliber pistol". "Is it in defense?" "No, my lawyer will take care of myself."
13. If spelled correctly, the legalese is perfectly incomprehensible.
14. The wife visits her husband in prison: "So, I spoke to the lawyer, who told me that nobody will take away from you twenty years. You absolutely must escape! Did you find the file in the loaf? ". " Yes'! They operate on me tomorrow. ”
15.Doctor with a gun in front of his surgery: the doctor on call.
16. Do you know what is the maximum for a TV presenter? Drown when the broadcast airs.
Jokes to laugh so much
18. Is the metronotte the instrument for measuring the dark?
19. Textual words of Cimoli, general manager of the FS: "from 1/1/98 you will no longer pay per mileage, but according to the actual quality of the service". What do you think it means? Will we travel for free?
20. It is better to be optimistic and be wrong than pessimistic and be right.
21. What do you say two safes that are in the desert? Oh, what a combination!
22. Phone call to the airport information office: "How long does the Bologna-Rome flight take?". The switchboard operator: "One moment ...". And the guy: "Thanks" and hangs up.
23. The farmer is a farmer with a cell phone.
24. A feeble voice on the phone: "Doctor, I'm Rossi, I'm the one who came to you because I'm very tired." "So?". "Doctor, I can't open the medicine bottle!".
25. "Hello, is the plumber? Come on, my tap is leaking. " "Oh yes'? And who wins? ".
26. "Hello? Is it the provincial asylum? ". "No, look, he was wrong, we don't have a phone here!"
27. From the psychiatrist: "Doctor, sometimes I hear distant voices, soft, almost incomprehensible". "And when does it happen?" "Especially with long distance buses!"
28. Lady: "Hello? Is it you who saved my drowning baby? ". "Yes, ma'am, it's me." "... and the hat where you put it?".
29. On the phone: "Hello, API Service Station?". "It's recommended?". "A jar of honey!".
30. Mobile phone: the phone of microorganisms.
31. A manager with a mobile phone entered a telephone booth and cried with nostalgia.
32. A gentleman from his hotel room calls the switchboard and asks: "Excuse me, can you call me Frankfurt?". "FRANCOOOOO !!!".
33. Newspaper management: "Mr. Director called one with three heads". "And what did he say?" "Ready, ready, ready!".
34. Agitated lady telephones the firemen: "Come quickly! My house is burning! ". Firefighters: "Okay, here we go, but tell us how to get there." The lady: “Eh? But with that red pickup truck, right? "
Laughing jokes
35. "The President of the Republic called me yesterday." "And what did he tell you?" "Sorry, I got the wrong number!".
36. On the phone: “Hello? Who's talking?" "Well, let's do it one by one!"
37. On the phone: “Hello? Is it 345596? " "Had he guessed one!"
38. On the phone: “Hello? Social winery? ". "Hic!".
39. On the phone: “Hello? I'll call you on your cell phone. " "They finally put you in!"
40. On the phone: “Hello? Porto Ercole? " "But bring whoever you want!".
41. On the phone: “Hello? Do I speak with the Incerti family? ”. "Yes, of course, no, in fact maybe I don't know it could be ...".
42. On the phone: “Hello? Do I speak with the Intelligence Service? ". "Eeeeeh?".
43. On the phone: “Hello? SAI? ". "No, but why don't you tell me ?!"
44. On the phone: “Hello? Is Maria there? ”. "But, I don't know, now I try."
45. On the phone: “Hello? Is you?". "No, five coffees!".
46. On the phone: “Hello? Casa Tomba? ". "Skiing".
47. On the phone: “Hello? Tell me!". "Pure" and hangs up.
48. She: “Did you see that you complain so much that I'm on the phone too much? It only took me 10 minutes. " He: "Well! And who was he? " She: "Well, one who had the wrong number!".
49. What are the firefighters called in English? By phone.
50. English Milord calls home; the butler replies: "Hello?". "Battista, is it you?" "Yes Milord, tell me." "Baptist, please go and call Milady." "Sir ... er, I can't, Milady is in bed with a man." "All right Battista, kill them both, then get rid of the weapon." After a while ... "Done sir, I killed them." "And did you get rid of the weapon?" "Yes sir, I threw it into the swimming pool." "Pool ?? But what number did I do? ".
51. The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer drinks.
52. We women are on the phone a lot ... to keep the line.
